Peer Review Note:
Overall, I would focus on organization. The order of the paragraphs breaks my focus at some points during the piece. Your thesis is clear, but I did offer a suggestion on how to alter it a little bit. I also highlighted the paragraphs that are out of order with your original thesis. I like your ideas on the subject. The conclusion paragraph did leave me thinking which is great, it leaves an impression. One small thing that can be fixed is the introduction of the author’s quotes. When first using their quotes you haven’t introduced them. But later in the essay you introduce them for the first time. Just switch this around. Nice work 🙂
