- Original: We already know that technology will continue to be developed, so is it only a matter of time before technology is the only thing that matters?
Revised: We know that technology will continue to be developed. Is it only a matter of time before technology is the only thing that matters?
- Will we see an increase in developmental problems if we allow technology to grow and grow, making itself a central part of our society.
If we allow technology to continue to grow will we see an increase in developmental problems?
- We still do not have a full understanding of the brain and as of now we still have parts that are missing from the whole picture.
Our society still doesn’t understand the way our brain works. We don’t have the whole picture.
- Our brain is the powerhouse of our body, and in young adults the brain is still a developing organ.
Our brain is the powerhouse of our body. And in young adults, it is still a developing organ, making it work twice as hard
- It is physically developing on top of all of the other information being thrown at it.
The brain is still developing itself physically, as well as processing all of the other information being thrown at it.
You really made some of these sentences stronger! Keep up the good work!